Welcome to Hell
by A.Fox
Summary: Jason Vhoorhees and Leatherface are both formidable killers and when they end up working together, there's nobody safe at Crystal Lake...but when a superhero named Longcoat shows up with the intention of solving a missing persons case...the two killers are going to finally learn just why the vigilante is called "The Demon of the Underworld."
1. The end of the end of the beginning

(I don't own any character by DC Comics, or any characters from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series, Friday the 13th or Bittersweet Candy Bowl, though the version of Lucy that appears is my own idea.)

At Camp Crystal lake there was a legend, a legend that anyone who went to the camp would be killed maniac who lives there.

Helen wished she'd believed it, if she had then maybe her friends would be alive now. They'd all just gone down there to have a rave and orgy, but about an hour into it some maniac in a hockey mask killed all of them, one at a time.

Her first clue of the killing was when she found the corpses of her best friend Donna, and Donna's boyfriend, they were having sex at the time that someone hacked the two of them to death with an ax or bladed weapon of some kind, the cabin the two lovers were in being coated with blood

Shocked and scared of what she found, she ran off to warn the others, but she was too late and found them dead as well, having also showed up just as the murderer killed her boyfriend.

Barely managing to escape death herself, Helen found herself hiding in a shack and there she plotted her next course of action.

Looking through the shack she realized was the killer's home, Helen was able to find a harpoon gun to defend herself with.

Currently she was waiting in the dinning hall in the abandoned summer camp, waiting for the killer to appear.

To draw the killer's attention, she'd lit one of her brother's joint and left it in the center of the room, the killer seemed to be attracted to the stuff, like a moth to a flame, she only hoped the monster would come to her soon so she can seek her revenge.

After about an hour of waiting she saw him walk pass the table she was hiding behind for cover, the killer just staring at the lit joint she left on the floor.

Deciding she had waited long enough Helen aimed the harpoon at the Monster that her butchered her friends.

"Eat metal you cold hearted bastard!" Helen yelled as she proceeded to shoot the killer in the chest with the harpoon, the force knocking him on his back.

Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, Helen turned and was shocked to find the hockey masked killer still alive.

In disbelief Helen backed away only to bump into another mysterious person, who had snuck up behind her.

While she barely got a glimpse of her attacker she was able to make out a leather mask and a chainsaw swinging at her before she felt a searing pain as her body was cut in half.

You see, the legend of Crystal Lake was slightly off, there used to be just one killer but now there was another one, who no one had ever suspected of being there.


	2. Mr Longcoat goes to Town

(I don't own any character by DC Comics, or any characters from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series and Friday the 13th, oh and for those of you who want to know where Longcoat comes from, read my Fic Beware the Ice Queen.)

Most people go to Crystal Lake because they are stupid.

Despite the many, MANY people who go missing over there, there's still a large number of frat boys and sorority girls who want to party with everything from alcohol to speed and engage in large orgies.

The few smart people that went there were usually looking for missing friends and relatives, and the two who did return were insane and couldn't provide accurate details of what they found there.

Longcoat however was there for neither, he was just there for money.

A month ago, a young woman named Helen Troy (known for her fitting name) went missing and her very rich parents offered a million dollar reward for anybody who'd find her.

Now Longcoat was willing to fight criminals for free but he needed money to help fund his war on crime, plus he'd gained a protégé three months ago so he needed more money to help his war out, this was especially essential because of his research into a group called "The Howling Commandos."  
Longcoat brushed a branch out of his sight, going in a bushy tree really is a good idea when you want to hide from people but the branches were getting annoying to brush out.

For the past hour he'd been hiding in a tree and watching a group of college students (about four boys and four women) set up at a camp near the lake, and he was watching to see if any of them would suffer any…accidents.

"Well this sucks" he muttered "All I see is a group of idiots get out stuff to get high and wasted, and two couples just went off to have sex.  
"So why the hell do people go missing here?"  
As he thought aloud his eyes wandered and by chance he looked inside a cabin and saw a young woman with blond hair having sex with a guy he could've sworn was as big as a fridge.  
Just as his eyes were about to look at something pertaining to his goal better he noticed something else, there was a man in the room with the two college students he'd just seen, the man wore a leather mask and was holding a sledgehammer above them.

How they didn't see him coming Longcoat didn't know (given though the woman was currently riding the football player he had a good idea why they didn't see the maniac), but while he was about 50 feet away and hiding within a large pile of brush and branches that was also about 100 feet up in a tree he knew what he had to do.  
Thinking quickly he whipped out a pistol "Hello paycheck" he muttered before shooting off one bullet.

No sooner had he fired he leapt out of the tree and hurriedly began leaping from the other trees and heading towards the cabin.

Now when he shot off the bullet, it did more than just draw attention it flew straight through the air and hit the would-be killer in his arm, causing the freak to drop the hammer behind him.

It didn't take Longcoat long to reach the cabin, one he got really close he jumped to a lower branch, and then quickly used it as a spring board so he could leap through the room's window.

"RISE AND SHINE MOTHER- OOPS!"  
Longcoat had leapt right through the window, normally he'd have leapt right through the window and landed on his feet but most the time he wasn't trying to leap over two people while their fucking.

I bring this up because while he flew through the window (can't deny that) his foot caught on the blond and caused him to flip through the air, hitting "Leatherface" and sending both the masked guys tumbling out the door.

As both of the masked men tumbled out of the cabin they proceeded to start rolling downhill, which was surprising to Longcoat as he didn't think that the cabin was located on a hill.

"Well this is certainly surprising" he said to himself "I come to get the big score and get fucked up instead; I really should have just shot this motherfucker in the nuts."

While he continued to roll, he quickly twisted to his side and caught his foot on a tree and no sooner had he stopped his rolling he turned to face the would-be killer.

"Yo leatherhead" the wisecracking vigilante bellowed "You liked getting hammered?  
"I hope you do, because this is gonna be one Hell of a hangover!" The vigilante yelled out at him, proceeding to pull a submachine gun out from behind his back he shot up several branches ahead of the maniac.

The falling branches proceeded to form an impromptu barrier that kept the killer from sliding further.

Longcoat stood up and began brushing himself off, "So I'm guessing you're the reason most people disappear in this area."  
He reached behind his back to take an object or two from hammerspace "Normally I wouldn't resort to such crude methods, but since poor Helen is probably dead you likely know where the body went, so without further ado…"

FIVE MINUTES LATER  
"TALK YOU MOTHERFUCKER! CONFESS! BE A STOOLIE! I KNOW YOU CAN FEEL THIS!"  
Longcoat was very glad he'd thought to disassemble a brick wall last week, especially since he was currently taking said bricks and throwing them at the man he'd captured.

"I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" he yelled "I READ YOUR FILE WEEKS AGO! I KNOW THAT YOU'RE THOMAS-

CLUNK

Longcoat felt something large smash against his head, stumbling over a little the crimefighter turned around and looked right into the angry face of the football player whose life he'd saved.

"I hope you have a good reason for interrupting me from reenacting St. Steven's stoning as a means of getting people to talk, because otherwise I'm going to beat the fuck out of you."  
The man's glare grew even worse than it had before "Listen motherfucker, I don't care what reason you have for doing it, NOBODY stops me from having sex not you not-

Longcoat had heard enough of this, and so hurriedly pulled a baseball bat out of hammerspace and smashed the man in the face "Talk about ingratitude, I save the life of you and your ho' and you try to attack me, you could have at least put on underwear before you tried to beat me down."  
As he finished this he swung around and hit Leatherface in the head with the bat, knowing that the freak had got up and was about to try and strangle him.

"Hey!" rang out a female voice.  
Longcoat groaned, beginning to turn around "look lady, I'm busy at the moment, if you want to insult me, wait your turn, I'm…"  
As he turned around he saw that the woman who was addressing him was in fact the blond whose life he saved, unlike her boyfriend she'd actually thought to grab a towel and used that to cover more of herself.  
"I'm not here to insult you, but could you please stop hitting my boyfriend? He might have been mad at you, but he really isn't a bad guy."  
"Listen girl…"  
"My name's Brenda."  
"Interesting, I know two other women named Brenda, one's my Aunt, and the other one…" Longcoat said, pausing to turn around and bash Leatherface in the face again "Had better not be related to me."  
"Why?"  
"I had sex with her, but enough about me" Longcoat pulled out a vial of acid "I gotta get chuckles here to tell me where the bodies are buried."  
"What the fuck are you talking about?"  
"You probably didn't know this, but I'm a superhero who came here to find a missing girl named Helen Troy."  
"You too?" The astonished woman remarked.

"Yeah, I'm low on cash at the moment, and I've always wanted to figure out why people keep disappearing here, but I'm guessing you're here because you want your sister back."  
"How did you-

"Know who you are? I do my homework Amy, and it's because of that homework that I know who- STAY DOWN BITCH!" Longcoat bellowed, switching to a different mood when he realized Leatherface had gotten up again and this time kept beating him with the bat.  
"Anyways, I Know that this guy is one Thomas Hewitt AKA Leatherface, he's a serial killer who operated in Texas with his family, he was also a cannibal that helped his family murder people and sell them as taco meat.

"Now I don't know why he wasn't using the chainsaw he used to kill most his victims, or what he's doing here, but he probably knows why most people go missing here."  
"You mean he killed my-"  
"He may have, but he was last seen a year ago and people have been vanishing here for twenty years, so I'm sure he's not the reason people keep vanishing and all I have to go on are rumors."  
"What kind of- OH MY GOD!"  
"What is it?" the crimefighter asked, finally stopping his beating down of Leatherface.  
"My friend Cathy, she was watersking down there in the nude…"  
"She's a college girl, what would you expect?"  
"No, I just saw her get shot by something, I think she's dead."  
Longcoat turned around and finally saw a large amount of blood beginning to spread all over the lake "Amy, can you get everyone over to that hall I saw earlier? I think there's a second killer over here and we need to keep you guys safe."  
"Alright but uh…could you get off Frank?"  
"Who?"

"My boyfriend."  
"But I'm not-" he looked down and saw that he'd stepped onto Frank's face, Frank was lucky he was unconscious because he'd be pissed if he realized Longcoat was standing on his face.  
"Oops, my mistake" said the Asberger's effected vigilante "but he should have complained, after all we can't be laid around at a time like this…"


	3. Slashers 101

(I don't own any character by DC Comics, or any characters from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series and Friday the 13th, oh and for those of you who want to know where Longcoat comes from, read my Fic Beware the Ice Queen.)

Longcoat stood atop a table and looked down at the people he'd "drafted" into his attempt to end the serial killer who he assumed was hiding out in the woods.  
Currently there were about five people there, all of them were college students and he'd assumed that if he didn't think of something quick they'd probably get themselves killed.  
There was a blond woman named Amy (wearing a blue sweater and blue jeans) who was there to find the same person he was looking, and she'd brought her now clothed boyfriend Frank (who was apparently still pissed off at him, but came anyways…and for those interested he was wearing tan shorts and a white muscle shirt)  
Also there was an attractive redheaded woman wearing something that could barely pass for clothes, a skinny black haired man who was apparently a musician, and a blond, male hippy wearing a tie-die shirt that Longcoat found offensive to his own personal standards of taste.  
"Alright, I'm not going to say this twice because if none of you listen the first time, you have excuse for your inevitable deaths" Longcoat began.  
"I highly doubt anybody here is familiar with what I'm about to discuss, but did any of you happen to hear of the rumors that people mysteriously disappearing at this here lake?"  
"I heard something like that" the redhead said "I was giving a blowjob at the time though so I couldn't really hear much."  
Longcoat proceeded to pull out a list labeled 'Bait' and asked the redhead "What's your name?"  
"My name is Sandra, and people say I'm, like, a major slut."  
"And am I right in assuming their right?"  
"Yep" Sandra cheerfully cried out, not realizing the subtle insult Longcoat was about to give her.  
Longcoat added her name to the 'bait' list "Anyways, after catching Brenda and what's-his-name having sex..."  
"My name is Frank!" The angry football player yelled.  
"And seeing a serial killer attempt to kill them while they did it" Longcoat continued, ignoring the protests of the man he'd bashed in the face with a bat "It occurred to me that the deaths were the result of a slasher."  
He pulled out a large poster of a generic serial killer with an umpire's mask before continuing his lecture "A slasher is a special kind of serial killer, one with a lot of endurance and strength that can take up ludicrous amounts of damage, and in some cases return from the dead.  
"Another notable thing about them is that they supposedly have a sixth sense that causes them to home in on people who are having sex in their vicinity, as well as people who are high or drunk.  
"Now if any of you wish to survive, you are all going to follow my rules; no sex…"  
Sandra groaned.  
"…no booze.." he continued.  
The musician groaned.  
"…And absolutely NO weed" Longcoat finished, throwing a brick at the hippy that just about missed said pothead.  
"What's more everyone here has to stay here no matter what; slashers prefer to target people who aren't in groups."  
Longcoat reached behind his back and pulled out a very large machine gun "I however could survive them, and it's for that reason why I'm going out there to find the one that's in this lake, for safety reasons though I'm going by myself."  
He jumped down from the table and headed out towards the door, before he could leave though Brenda had a piece of mind to give him.  
"If you think I'm staying in here while you're going to find whoever killed my sister, then you've got another thing coming."  
"Look Brenda" Longcoat growled "One person is already dead, two people are unaccounted for and I don't know who or what is out there for sure…besides, I need somebody whose relatively level headed to keep these idiots from breaking the rules I set down."  
"I'm going anyways, and you aren't going to stop me" replied the difiant Brenda  
Longcoat groaned inwardly, he actually could if he had more than fifty ways he could stop her, and that's if you don't add lethal force into the mix, however he needed to get that reward, and this obstacle was only going to delay him even longer.  
"Alright" he groaned "You can come with, but-"  
"I'm going too" Frank growled at him.  
"Fine then, just don't have sex with him, having it once was enough to bring Leatherface to me I don't want every slasher in the world here."  
"I'm not like Sandra" Brenda protested.  
"HEY!" The slut (otherwise known as Sandra) yelled in offense.  
Ignoring Sandra, Brenda continued "I don't have sex all the time, I was just upset that my sister was missing."  
"As I was saying" Longcoat grumbled, oblivious to the fact he wasn't cut off "you two may come, but first…"  
TEN MINUTES LATER!  
Longcoat grinned as he pounded the last nail into the barricade he'd built around the entire cabin; to keep slashers out he'd nailed a very large amount of wooden boards all over the windows, doors, and every conceivable entrance, plus once he did that he did the same thing two times over...just for good measure.  
Longcoat threw the hammer up into the air and impaled it into Leatherface's foot.  
Once he caught Leatherface, Longcoat proceeded to climb a very tall tree and tied him to a branch to dangle off of…headfirst, then he put a very large bucket of nails beneath him to discourage any thought of wriggling out.  
"If Hewitt gets out of this, admitting that he did will be giving him too much credit."  
"Well then genius" Frank sarcastically growled "What the fuck are we supposed to do now?"  
Longcoat stroked his chin in thought "I was short two people, do you have any idea where they might be?"  
For once Frank seemed to actually answer his question instead of just being mad at him "Well Bert and Candice went off a while back and I haven't seen them since, I think they said they going off to have sex."  
"Hmm, we should probably try the cabins then" Longcoat said "If their still alive then that means the killer might be nearing them; I say we search the cabins."  
The cabins were very close and after a fairly short walk, Longcoat chose to open the first door he found "Alright you two, stay right here" he said, pointing to the space in front of the door.  
Carefully opening the door he looked in and saw clothes littering the floor, looking up he saw drawn drapes and a silhouette of two people on top of eachother.  
"So that's where they went" Longcoat remarked.  
Frank had looked in and commented on this as well "So they were just having sex, I guess their alright."  
"I wouldn't say that" the vigilante darkly commented before pulling out a flashlight, shining in on the horndogs revealed something else.  
"Now there's something you don't see every day" Longcoat muttered, which showed that the people were having sex…but they were dead now.  
On the bed lay a gothic chick that was on top on a black guy at the time of death, the cause of it being the arrow shot through their hearts.  
"This certainly lines up with past slasher reports...for some inexplicable reason they always go for black people first, and I'm positive these two were the first to die."  
He leaned down and began to look under the bed "The question is though, how did the killer get under here?"  
He then reached his hand under and saw nothing out of the ordinary (save for a used condom) he was about to quit there when he noticed something odd about the floor.  
"Hey wait a minute" he muttered, and curiously knocked against the wood before realizing something.  
"The floor's hollow" he thought aloud, reaching another hand towards it to try and feel for a hatch he'd noticed...what he didn't notice was another hatch about ten feet behind him was opening.

Jason Vhoorhees stepped out and tried to sneak up on the superhero, however just as he rose up his machete to kill Longcoat the aformentioned vigilante rolled over and knocked Jason down with a sweeping kick.  
"Ah, so you're the terror of Crystal Lake eh? Well allow me to- WHOA!"  
Longcoat got knocked down by a kick from the killer and saw Jason standing up so he could try to kill him again.  
"HEY YOU GUYS OUT THERE!" Longcoat yelled "You guys move to a safe distance! This is gonna get messy!"  
No sooner had he yelled to Frank and Brenda (distracting Jason in the process) he reached behind his back and pulled out a very large bundle on dynamite.  
Back outside, the two had ran off about twenty feet from the cabin both Longcoat and the killer were in.  
"What the fuck was in there?" The confused Frank yelled.  
"Don't worry Frank, I'm sure nothing too serious is going to happen."  
At that point however the cabin blew throwing Longcoat at the feet of the two college students, while Jason himself flew up into the woods like a mortar shell.  
As Longcoat peeled himself off the ground he groaned "Well that went well, let's hope I didn't destroy the tunnel."  
"What tunnel?" the other two said at once.  
"The tunnels that the asshole in the hockey mask was using to get around, odds there they lead to his home and if they do, we'll find Helen for sure, be she dead or alive…"


	4. Have Coat, Will Travel

"Extraordinary" Longcoat remarked as he went down the series of tunnels Jason Vhoorhees had somehow tunneled "I haven't seen a slasher this smart, never have…well except that Jigsaw motherfucker."  
"What the fuck are we doing here?" Frank groaned.  
"I already told you, we're trying to find the hub of these tunnels, I believe that if the killer was using this to get around we'll find his house if we continue down these.  
"And whether or not Helen's alive or dead, I'm sure that we'll find her there."  
"How could somebody have built all this?" An astonished Amy asked herself.  
Longcoat (not realizing the question was rhetorical) answered "You'd be surprised what people can do with a lot of time on their hands."  
He turned his head back to in front of him and realized something "Hey wait a minute, how the Hell are we going to know where we are anyways?"  
Looking up he noticed another trapdoor above him, "Wait here" said he "I'm going to stop for directions."  
"And just how the fuck do you do that?" Frank growled.  
"By poking my head up there, obviously" Longcoat said, not realizing that his method wasn't obvious.  
Not bothering to listen to any more questions, he proceeded to scale up the tunnel and lifted up the trapdoor.  
He found himself back in the same room he'd boarded up about half an hour ago and then realized that maybe his lecture hadn't been effective at all.  
He saw the hippy off the corner as he was smoking some weed, while near one of the boarded up windows was Sandra and the musician whose name he forgot, Sandra was having sex with him and she was currently in the doggy style position.

Needless to say, Longcoat was NOT happy.  
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" The enraged vigilante roared.  
"Hey guy (uh) wanna (oh yeah) join us?" The slut otherwise known as Sandra asked, oblivious to Longcoat's frustration.  
"Why did you idiots disregard the warnings and rules I gave? Don't you realize that a pair of serial killers, who love little else than to kill people who have sex and take dope, are roaming the area, AND YOU THREE ARE LEADING THEM RIGHT FUCKING TO YOU?"  
"It's not my fault" the slut whined "I was, like sooo bored, and like sooo stressed and confused, I just had to do this."  
Longcoat groaned (facepalming as he did so) "I knew I should have tied you to the ceiling, at least Leatherface is where I left him."  
At that moment a chainsaw tore through the wall and impaled the hippy.  
"WHAT THE FUCK? WHO DID THAT?" Longcoat roared in a hammy fit of frustration, quickly pulling out a rocket launcher he shot in the direction of the now retracting chainsaw.  
The rocket blew off a good deal of the wall, but unfortunately, as the smoke began to clear…in stepped Leatherface, though he now had a ludicrously large amount of nails stuck in his head.  
"I knew I should have gone with battery acid" Longcoat muttered, turning to the (literal) fuckers he yelled "GET INTO THE HOLE IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!"  
Sandra quickly ran right out of intercourse in a mad dash for said hole, Longcoat got out to accommodate her moving down (muttering "sluts first" under his breath) the musician however suddenly got impaled by a harpoon as he tried to run.  
Longcoat then noticed that Jason had finally shown up, and he was coming up next to Leatherface "Just great" Longcoat muttered "They just have to be working together don't they?"  
Jason aimed his harpoon gun at Longcoat only to get prevented from doing so by a convenient shell of nitro glycerin and metal, courtesy of Longcoat's bazooka.  
"No guns allowed, or chainsaws for that matter" Longcoat quipped before shooting Leatherface, unlike Jason though he shot him in the nuts.  
Both of the killers had been blasted away several feet, while they were disoriented Longcoat threw a lit Molotov cocktail at the two and ducked down into the tunnel to avoid the fire that began to quickly engulf the hall.  
Dropping down into the tunnels, making sure to avoid landing on the still nude Sandra, Longcoat looked back and decided a new course of action.  
"No more stopping for directions from now on."  
ONE HALF-HOUR LATER  
"You sure you don't want a blowjob?" Sandra asked for the umpteenth time.  
"Nooooo, I want to get something that'll bring whoever the fuck made these tunnels right too us" Longcoat sarcastically growled, having already been annoyed by her requests for sex.  
"Is that a yes?" An enthusiastic Sandra said, oblivious to the sarcasm the superhero gave.  
Longcoat groaned "How many times do I have to- WHOA!"  
Longcoat tumbled right out of the edge of a tunnel and fall flat on his face (or would have had it not been for his mask) shaking his head to get his bearings back, he looked up and saw a shabbily made living area, which consisted of a bed, a table and a shrine* that contained a rotting head and several pictures of a young woman and a deformed, young boy.  
Getting up Longcoat approached the shrine and began to study the pictures.  
"Why the Hell do these seem familiar" He though aloud "I don't know anybody who looks like these two, but they seem familiar for…" his voice trailed off as he pulled something out of hammerspace, a folder labeled 'Faust'.  
"Some reason."  
Amy began to look around and noticed a small makeshift door near the tunnel; she could also begin to notice a horrible odor was in the room.  
Ignoring Sandra's wondering aloud how whoever lived there had sex and Frank's pointing out that sex probably wasn't the main thing the killer was interested in, Amy opened up the door and saw something that changed her life forever.  
"AHA!" Longcoat bellowed triumphantly "I have it!"  
"OH MY GOD!" Amy yelled "THIS PLACE IS FULL OF BODIES!"  
Longcoat turned and saw that the small door Amy opened led right to a pit full of corpses.  
Walking over there Longcoat looked inside "Good lord" he said in shock, pulling out a flashlight "Jason's been a busy little beaver hasn't he?"  
"Jason?" All three survivors exclaimed with confusion, not thinking the killer would such a normal sounding name.  
"Oh yes" Longcoat said, pulling out a very long stick "That guy in the hockey mask is one Jason Vhoorhees, didn't recognize it until I saw those pictures.  
"As a boy, young Jason was born physically deformed and often was tormented by the children at the summer camp that used to go here, he wasn't a camper but lived there because of his mom's job as a cook.  
"One day he saw a pair of counselors having sex and ran off in shock, he unfortunately drowned and his mother found the corpse.  
"Distraught by the loss of her child, she sought out a wizard named Felix Faust and used her body to pay him for the task of resurrecting her son.  
"However, Faust was a bastard and no sooner did she give him what he wanted, he did as she wanted but brought Jason back as a zombie and then erased any memory she had of meeting him at all."  
While he was talking Longcoat was poking through the bodies and trying to see if Helen's corpse was there "I got this information from Faust when I went to his place to smash up a zombie production ring he was heading, I chose to confiscate any and all folders and pieces of information he had, truth is I forgot all about this until now.  
"I've heard of sightings of a large man in a hockey mask murdering everyone who comes to Crystal Lake, but as most of the witnesses were college students that had came there to party I wasn't sure if it was true until- oh shit…Amy I got bad news."  
"What?" Asked the worried blond.  
"I found your sister" Longcoat sadly added, walking away from the door to reveal the corpse of Helen Troy, cut in half by a chainsaw.  
"NO!" Amy yelled out, seeing the corpse of her sister drove the woman to tears.  
As she lay on the floor sobbing, Longcoat narrowed his eyes at the corpse "Hey wait a minute, most reports of Jason referred to him carrying a machete, this girl was cut in half with a chainsaw."  
Longcoat reopened his folder and looked over a note Faust had wrote "Seems Faust's theory that the magic he used had also increased Jason's power as a slasher was true, Jason got Leatherface to follow him because his brain convinced the lesser killer he was a sort of alpha male."  
Closing it he glared beneath his mask "Everyone get up, we're going hunting."  
"Are you fucking crazy?" Frank yelled at the superhero "Look at how many people he's killed already!"  
Nobody could tell it but a crazy grin had risen up under Longcoat's mask "And the body count is going to rise if this fucker ain't stopped before he lures God knows how many slashers to this place.  
"So for Helen, the stoner and musician whose names I forgot, and…"  
"Can I blow somebody?" Sandra wailed "I'm really scared!"  
"And everyone else Jason's killed" Longcoat continued, ignoring the slut "I'm going to harpoon this motherfucker, and mount him to a the hood of my JEEP!"

*Okay, if this seems off I should remind everyone that I don't know what the shack Jason lives in looks like.


End file.
